Making a Change:

So apparently I need a full time job for the summer.

I am SUPER pissed right now. Yeah, that'd be great. But I'm already working TWO jobs part-time. Yes, I need to save money.

But maybe my mom needs to get a job too. I realize that loans are taken out in my parent's name, but... they can get it deferred and I have no intention of them having to pay it back themselves (minus the interest they are paying for the first loan now... unfortunately). Once I have a job I'll pay them back slowly but surely.

But she's like "I got you a babysitting job here" and I'm all "I am renting in golden. I'm not going to NOT live in a place if I have to pay rent anyway". And she's all "so what. You need to get another job."


Here, you know what? I'll just off and get married and have a couple kids. Then I'll get grants! Oh what a HAPPY mother she will be then.
Actually, considering the money I'd get... it really wouldn't be half a bad idea.
Or I could just join the Navy. They'll give me 8,000 dollars a semester, plus an internship, plus a job after I graduate.
Any other ideas? Because, while I love Rory and Blake to death and would LOVE to babysit them... I live in Golden. Also, I'm probably not getting the Employee Kid job at Pioneer so... yeah. 

so...after all that. Mom read my last blog in the wrong context. She got mad at me. Being upset already, I walked out of the house.
I honestly didn't know exactly where I was going at first, but I knew I couldn't go home just then.
Then only one person came to mind: Eric.
I knew I wasn't on THAT great of terms with him, but I was with his family so it was okay.

I walked to walmart to warm up. Called home to tell my brother where I was. Told him I'd end up at Aunt Janet's or Sam's. Whoever came first.

Made it to Smokey hill and Gunclub (the one that is no longer connected to the main road...by Albertsons) and this couple came by and gave me a ride. Dropped me off right by Eric's house.

Came by, Eric's dad gave me a look of disbelief. Sat by the doorway curled in a ball, Eric came up and we just sat there. He wanted to cheer me up, so he took me downstairs and showed me this thing with final fantasy and burger king. It was kinda funny.

We talked. He..said he still loves me, but he can't trust me. I still don't understand how he can't trust me when it's really something so little. He did things five times worse to me multiple times and I still trusted him. Sure, ALL the trust still wasn't there, but it's only been a year. what can you expect from me?

He made it very clear he still loved me.
I just wish he would trust me again.
He told me to go to Sam's because staying there would make us both worse than before.
I still don't agree with that, but whatever he wants to think.

Dad called. Erik called. Aunt Janet called. Went to Aunt Janet's house afterword. She talked to me. Gave me warm clothes. I tried watching a movie with my cousin but I fell asleep. Three hour nap.

Woke up...mom had called. She said it was up to me to call. But..after she got mad at me this morning for really no reason (I know that was typed wrong, but everyone knows I didn't mean it LIKE THAT) I honestly have no desire to talk to her. She came up, I said hello. She didn't answer until I looked at her. She asked how I was, I said "okay, you?" and she just walked away. WTF?
I'm sorry you took that wrong, but it's NOT my fault. YOU decided to read what was on my screen (which horridly invaded my privacy btw).

I edited the entry to what I MEANT. But, it's not like she's talking to me anyway so ...whatever.

At least I clarified things with Eric today, neh?
Though...it still makes me wonder what went on through his head that made it such a big deal but...i'llgetoverit.
I think.

But...I'm glad things went like that today.