Making a Change:

I'd really update more... if I wasn't running around like a chicken with it's head cut off.

Life has been stressful to say the least. Two classes over the summer may have been a mistake and my gpa will plummet because of it. Thermo I'm doing alright in, Mechanics of Materials...not so much. Hopefully I did better on this last exam, but I'm not holding my breath. I really NEED to study more for this class but finding time has been a hassle. Between work and school I'm pretty much working the equivalent of two full-time jobs (this includes the 4+ hours of homework per day for each class), but I don't want to not see my friends so I've been trying to see them too. And of course I've been going to Ben's every Friday to see him, and sometimes he goes to Golden to see me.

Last week, Wednesday to be exact, I started freaking out about just everything. I felt like I just failed my exam, I didn't understand the homework, everything going on with my family, not enough money for school next semester... it just made me snap and all I wanted to do was cry. Things are better now, but I'm still super-stressed out and I'm probably not going to do too much with anyone until I'm on my two week summer vacation.

Things at work are getting busier. At least at Pier One... If I had enough hours to work in the day I'm sure I could be hired on as a Sales Lead- but alas I only get about 22-25 hours per week which is 8-5 hours below the minimum for the position. There have been a lot of people quitting so we were down to about...five sales associates and three managers. We just hired a girl named Lydia and it sounds like we'll hire someone else too. Hopefully we can get at least eight! Seriously. Almost all of us are working almost thirty hours each a week to make up for the lack of people and you can tell it wearing everyone down.

Metro Brokers is slow, but that's to be expected at this time. No one wants to move while their children are going off to college. Hopefully it'll pick up around September a bit. The pre-holiday stuff, you know. Move before you put out the tree and house-lights.

My mom talked to me this morning and apparently my parents want to take us to Mexico for Mine and Erik's birthdays. I talk about how I would like some fruity drink or a rum and coke: she shakes her head. Hey, you take me to Mexico when I'm legally of age in my own country, I'll have a damn alcoholic beverage. It's not like I'm going to drink 'til I'm drunk. Not that they know about it, but at parties I don't even do that- it's really just not my thing. Too bad she doesn't understand that. One drink every so often does not an alcoholic make.

On a completely different note:Angel, our dog of seven years, has a fast-growing cancer. She has a couple of weeks or so... We've been spoiling her quite a bit. Also got a puppy. We're not trying to have it take her place- no other dog will be quite a sweet as Angel is- but it does dull the feeling of loss.

Living in the sorority has been pretty cool. Nice, fast internet that isn't named anything like cuntnugget, a dishwasher, cable, multiple nice places to study, and locking bathroom doors (and bedroom too, but I don't have my key...yet? yet I hope). It's been nice also having a washer and drier so I don't have to ship things to and from my parent's house.

Ugh, my body hurts.

Other than that, life is good.
Cheers

So, there hasn't been an update in a while. This kind of saddens me.

Right now I'm living out of a suitcase at my parent's house. I'm temporarily residing there so I can babysit a couple kids. It is good money for just waking them up, feeding them, and taking them to their respective camps.

Next week school starts up for me again. I honestly can't wait. Just working all the time really gets tiring. Though it has been nice getting twenty hours a week. Nice paychecks...

Anyway. Ben might be (actually it's almost certain: I just don't want to jinx it) getting a job at Dish Network. This is good. I have a toothbrush at his house now. IT'S A BIG DEAL. Actually it's not really a big deal.


Now. I visited Sam and Riley yesterday. I love visiting them! However, this morning I get a text from Sam. Eric (you know, cheated on me, left me [twice!], said he wanted to get back with me then dumped me a day later: that Eric) has asked her out. I realize a lot of what happened between him and I is my own damn fault and I should stop being so...crazy over it, but still.
I mean, I love Sam to death. If he makes her happy, so be it. I just hope that he has changed and that he endeavors to deserve her.

Plus, I really still want karma to kick his ass.

ANYway.
I guess I should say that I passed all my classes last semester. Passed being a relative term for Calculus III. I'm hoping Diff EQ is easier than that, but you never know. I'm hoping with a lot of work and determination I can pull my GPA to a 3.0 and pass everything well from here on out. Maybe ask for Saturday evenings off so that I can spend time with Ben at least once a week, then maybe friday evenings with my family... Pretty sure that my life will turn into a schedule again as soon as fall semester starts. Hate it, but that's the way it goes.

Pretty happy though about this next week. I get TWO days off. Super awesome, I think. Monday and Thursday. Need to get times switched with somebody on friday since I can't open seeing as I babysit Blake and Rory in the mornings...

Anyway. Life is good.

Cheers

So, here's the thing. I COULD actually catch up next semester to the amount of credits I ought to have at this time. The ONLY problem is that it's 19 bloody credit hours AGAIN.
While, yes, that's a lot of credits, I would very much like to be where I ought to be and not have to continuously play catch-up.

Hopefully I won't have as much to do next year/sememster... maybe actually utilize the committee I will (maybe) have as (maybe) fellowship chair of APO (you never know, I could be challenged on the floor today).

I don't know. I think I could pull it off. Maybe? You know, I could try it and if it's too hard I can drop Soil Mechanics. It's just, I can take Mechanics of Materials WITH Soil Mechanics and I think I want to do that so that I can get those out of the way.
Then there's this petrography class I'm required to take (wasn't on the 2006-2007 checklist I printed and showed cindy...) but it's only 2 credit hours!

According to the flow chart I just found, I could plausably drop thermo as well. Good to know...


You know what? I'm going to do it. Will be restricting the work schedule though...

So. Update? Yes. I think so.
( Oh pictaurs )

So I somewhat did what my mom said and today I applied for two internships. One in Utah and one in Maryland.

GOOGLESEARCHDON'TFAILMENOW.

Not that I have anything else to do ANYWAY. Since they blocked EVERYTHING.

And the phones changed so they are all...weird. I don't know. People are all "I've been on the line twenty minutes" and I'm all "sorry! It doesn't even show me you called! D:!"

On the plus side though, I've spent time with Ben and his family (at least his brothers) AND I got to sleep in on Saturday. YAY! I'm pretty sure this isn't my brother's or sister's break so unfortunately I probably won't be able to spend much time with them except for tonight and maybe tomorrow night if I decide to stay there. Maybe I should stay another night- if anything, for my brother's sake. He did kinda just stick up for me the other day.
My siblings are becoming exponentially cooler as they get older/more mature. Thank goodness.

I'm pretty excited for habitat for humanity on wednesday! I've always wanted to do it, but I just haven't ever been able to. On that note: I need work gloves. Considering what I want to do with my life, it would probably be a good idea to have them anyways. And probably need to find sturdy shoes, because my tennis shoes are falling apart/ made out of cloth instead of leather.

Also: Initiation for Pi Phi in a few weeks! :D
Also, Also: APO is only a few steps from being a chapter! :DD
Also, Also, Also: Sean's parents okayed us using their cabin in Bailey! Retreat for APO after all! :DDD

Also, Also, Also, Also: I still need to get fellowship paperwork done x.x damn.

BUT! In minerology Rebecca, Kristin (sp?!) and I have decided to start a study group. Once a week (or more depending on material) from like 7-9pm in the lab classroom. Hopefully I can pull my grade up. UGH. I hate/love that class so much.

Oh. Need to study statics as well. I wish I didn't suck at it and that he would give us a review because that is what helped me do well on the previous exam. Jackass, saying we needed to study just the class problems and not a guide. WHAT IF THAT IS HOW I STUDY, EH? EVER THINK OF THAT YOU... ANGRY JERKFACE?! /fail.

just hope I don't fail. I really can't afford to fail.

So apparently I need a full time job for the summer.

I am SUPER pissed right now. Yeah, that'd be great. But I'm already working TWO jobs part-time. Yes, I need to save money.

But maybe my mom needs to get a job too. I realize that loans are taken out in my parent's name, but... they can get it deferred and I have no intention of them having to pay it back themselves (minus the interest they are paying for the first loan now... unfortunately). Once I have a job I'll pay them back slowly but surely.

But she's like "I got you a babysitting job here" and I'm all "I am renting in golden. I'm not going to NOT live in a place if I have to pay rent anyway". And she's all "so what. You need to get another job."


Here, you know what? I'll just off and get married and have a couple kids. Then I'll get grants! Oh what a HAPPY mother she will be then.
Actually, considering the money I'd get... it really wouldn't be half a bad idea.
Or I could just join the Navy. They'll give me 8,000 dollars a semester, plus an internship, plus a job after I graduate.
Any other ideas? Because, while I love Rory and Blake to death and would LOVE to babysit them... I live in Golden. Also, I'm probably not getting the Employee Kid job at Pioneer so... yeah. 

Nothing much has been going on. Actually that's a lie.

So since winter break I've done quite a few things. I shed the title of VP of Membership in APO, retaining only VP of Fellowship (resulting in me being lower on the totem pole which, yes, sometimes bothers me). This has taken quite a bit of stress off my shoulders.
Recently joined Pi Beta Phi because I needed a change. A good one. Pi Phi and APO actually go a little more hand-in-hand than you'd think. The combination is actually quite nice as APO is more service and Pi Phi is more academic which balances out excellently! I don't remember when I've felt so driven to just DO things.

Ben really wants to get on my mother's good side. Or that's the impression he's given. Already that's a one-up on almost everyone I've ever dated. Mom's still giving me a hard time. Dad just wants me happy. I don't know that I've been any different than before, in fact I'm pretty sure I was being a better person than before.
Anyway.

Really into country music lately. Actually it's usually a cycle. During winter and fall it's more just alternative, and when it starts warming up it's country.
Maybe because this is the time of year where I make my trip to Dove Creek usually? USUALLY I go to Dove Creek during spring break rather than winter, and then again in summer. Can't wait for this summer! Though perhaps if I want to go to the dance again, I should probably semi-learn to dance. No more bruised toes, thanks.

Got a raise at Metro Brokers! Now 15 dollars an hour! It's awesome. About 200 dollars a paycheck which almost pays the bills itself, but still working at Pier One to have a little extra income. Though, I've found that it's cheaper to even live in the Sorority house than live here... Which is lame. Though I will miss being here, I won't miss the management. No way.

Ben's leaving in  a little less than 47 days.

I have come to terms... and I'm going to be supportive. Yes, indeed.

What comes next?


In other news: my mom had surgery on Wednesday for her two hernias. It sounds like everything went well, which is good. They tend to screw up everything when it comes to my mother.

Er. Classes are fine... I guess. At any rate, they make the time go faster. Though that can be considered a bad thing...

At work everyone seems to be on a war-path. It's very hostile and I don't really enjoy being there anymore. Since I got Sundays at Metro Brokers I don't really NEED Pier One, but... I'm willing to give it a bit. If things don't get better within the next month or two I'll just go look for another job. Seriously, I have enough to worry about. I don't need to worry about being fired from Pier One for minor mistakes. Seriously.

Solid C on my physics test- with my multiple choice and long answer.

Today is going to be a busy day. I have my one class (physics studio), then I need to get some capa done. Or ... my geo homework that is due tomorrow. Then work from three to six- which isn't bad. Just three hours. Three retarded hours. I wonder why our schedule is so mixed up right now...
Then I promised one of the girls that works there (Charlotte) that I'd go to CRU with her. I guess if anything it'll make my mom and grandma happy that I'm going to some semblance of a youth group? I don't mind going... if I know people there. It's hard being on the outside looking in when you're in a place like that.
Then I have to help with the movie (Wall-E! ) because that poor girl doesn't have any help and she runs around trying to set this awesome stuff up for us all the time. I can't believe they took all her help away from her for FAC. Who needs that many people helping out? Seriously.

Well, last night we went bowling. Morgan came to bowl with us! :D! It was fun and she kicked all our asses pretty hardcore. BUT! I did break one hundred both games! Twas fun. I'm glad Morgan came with us! She's pretty awesome!

I think that's really about it. Busy day, but it'll be a good day. I'm sure of it.

I suck at calculus

seriously.

and this is the easy shit.

I don't want to talk about it anymore.

It's not alright. I'm fucking broken and there's not a damn person in this world who is going to change that.

I can forget this hurt during the day but every night I have to come to terms with what I am. There is no one, I am alone, and it's probably going to be that way for a while.
Okay, Rachel? You got that?

Now get over it.


...easier said than done.


Today was pretty decent. Macro was pretty interesting. I like Kishore (sp?). He's a good professor.

Calculus was alright as well. Going over stuff I don't really know, which is good. I understand this time.

Geo was amazing as always. God, I love it so much. I'm glad I chose this as my major. It's something I can understand and that I actually KNOW. Plus, rocks usually aren't jerks. Major plus.

I went to a yoga class with Cindy and Jen. At first I was like "ugh, really?" but then I kinda started to like it. I feel quite... relaxed? I guess that's it. It was good.

Human Systems was about the French Revolution. And really, who doesn't like a revolution? It was pretty interesting to hear about. Though she made no reference to "let them eat cake"... which I was expecting.

There was a block party thing... that I went to. It was fun. I was with Liz and we lead the parade. Got some free stuff like T-shirts and gum.

It's been pretty cold, and I like it, but it makes good snuggling weather and... lack of snuggle-buddy. /sigh.

My Geo trip is next week though! Really excited for that. Though...I was going to hang out with Ben : /

maybe I can convince him to come up during the week and we can hang out then? I don't know. Everything has been going so fast I'm really surprised that I can think semi-straight. Plus I'm trying to keep busy to keep my mind occupied. It's helping me sleep better... Last night I didn't take the allergy meds that I have been using to sleep for the past week.

BAH.

I can't tell you when I last felt accomplished or happy- or at least on the top of my head. There is no way someone ought to feel so horribly alone in a room full of people, knowing full well there is SOMEONE in that same room having the SAME feelings running through their head.

Problem is that if I decide to tell someone exactly what I'm feeling I'm afraid they'll be like "well, someone always has it worse than you". Maybe they do. Maybe there is some poor person being tortured and doesn't know if their family is still alive. Honestly though, I don't want to hear that. I want to hear "it will be okay, Rachel".

I want somebody who will honestly believe it when they are saying it. I want somebody who won't just stop talking to me. I want somebody who will tell me they miss me.
I want somebody who tells me they love me to not take it back a couple weeks later.

I want someone to love me for me. Through my faults, through my craziness, through my hard times.

Crazy, I know.
Love is something to be given freely. You can't tell someone to earn your love. Love is not earned, it is given whether you deserve it or not. This is actually mentioned in a quote I read a few days ago... You love someone even when they don't deserve it because that is when they need it most.

There is no way I can tell you who to love. You just do. There is no rhyme or reason to it.

/vent


It sucks because I don't know what I want, or who I need to talk to.

Right now I feel like... punching a wall in. Taking a walk might help, but I've taken so many of those just to calm down that I don't know that even walking miles and miles would help. Currently I'm trying to keep busy to keep my head out of the clouds, but it isn't working in the slightest. How can you keep moving forward when you're tied to the floor?

I try to think of other people in his place. But I end up thinking "grant" rather than "sean" and it's ruined. Apparently I can't even have crushes on other people without thinking about him. It sucks.

I refuse to call him myself. Jen was all "Just call him and get it over with", but no. I'm not the one that said it wasn't working, so I'm not going to be the one calling. If he wants to break up, fine. But he has to grow a pair and call to say it. Not only is it rude to break up through text, it's tacky. I honestly don't want to tell people that my last boyfriend broke up with me through text- because I know he's not a bad guy. And I guess it wounds my pride quite a bit too, if I'm going to be totally honest.

Really, this is just killing me on the inside. It's like... you're crushed by a rock, but you're still alive: this is the initial blow. This rock falling causes sand to start falling as well. It piles on you and the rock day by day, little by little, until you are finally crushed to death. Actually, it almost feels like that too: chest constricting, heart beating harder to keep the body going.

What really sucks is I really freaking want to cry, but I can't. I'll start- I'll tear up and it'll get hard to breathe- but that's it. Like I'm watching bambi's mom get shot or something- it's sad but it's not real.

Maybe that's it. It doesn't feel real to me. Maybe I'm still surprised by the ordeal. I had/have a boyfriend for the first time in over a year, and he really liked/likes me. The past tense probably being more suitable for our situation. Though, after this fiasco, I feel like I really don't want to try again.
I don't, really. It hurts too much. Maybe it would be better to just assume the position of "there is no one for me, oh well, buy me a kitten" than to be optimistic.

I wish this wasn't so whiny, but that's how it is. That is my life at the moment. Lots of suck.

School is alright. I understand physics finally- calculus too. Classes, even though I'm taking nineteen credit hours, are quite easy. Then again, it's only been a couple weeks. I can't imagine it will get much harder than this.
Human systems kind of irks me though. Don't get me wrong, history is interesting, but I would really rather be getting my core classes done with and moving on to my major.

Paid for my geo trip that is taking place 11-13 of September. Missing NDK for it, but... you know. I really don't feel as if I fit in anymore. I don't know if it's me leaving others behind or the other way around or both ways, but it's... really sad. But I guess I don't have to worry about seeing Eric if I'm not even there, though.

Someone has really bad breaks...SCREEEEEEEEEEEEECH

Been watching DBGT. It cheers me up a bit. Nothing like a good dose of Vegeta to cheer me up. That and a few drinks of diet pepsi but... yeah.

Planning on going to bed relatively early...again. Considering I take allergy pills so I can sleep through the night, it's a good idea. Maybe it's all this stress, but I wake up generally twice during the night. I hate it, so I'm trying to head it off. May just get to the point where I'm taking straight sleeping pills, but I really hope it doesn't get that bad.
I'm keeping up with my homework, so I am doing pretty good.



Well that was me dumping my feelings at you. Enjoy!

Last night there was a huge thunder storm. It was hanging over my house for at least two hours (neither of which did I get any sleep during), striking within FEET of my house.
I like lightening...when it's far away. When it's cool to look at. Not when I feel like I'm going to die in a few seconds.

Woke up also to nightmares. This is usual though, but add in the lightening and the wanting to crawl in a hole and die... yeah.

I was kind of scared, a little. More so of the lightening but...You know.
Unfortunately I don't know what my nightmares were about, but they were enough to make me curl up in a ball and cry a little.

Whatever. I guess.

Very ready for school to start. I'm even more ready to be sleeping in until seven (not really sleeping in to most, I know, but it's sleeping in for me!). I'm also excited to be able to shower at night if I want. No more of this "you'll wake your grandpa up". Honestly, I don't think my grandpa cares too horridly much. He's up most of the night anyway.

It's like night outside. Everything is gloomy. I want to be in bed. I said the next day like this I was staying home...I didn't figure it would be my last day to work...

Today I smell like ...berries. It's a little overpowering. Hopefully it will die down a bit.

Ugh. Miss Grant, but he's harvesting so I can't really talk to him much- if at all. This sucks. He works up to 18 hours a day on the combine, then eats and sleeps for the other few hours. It was easy when he was just on the tractor- then he didn't have to pay too close attention and he could text and drive. Here it's intense and...UGH.

At least if school was in session I could do homework or something to keep myself busy, but at work it's just me...sitting around...

He's lucky I like him a lot or else he'd be SOL.

Never date a farmer, guys. Never date a farmer.

I PRG'd Calc II and Physics I



SUPER FAIL.


This is not making life better.


At least I PRG'd them though. Much better than actually failing. Though, my parents might start to question why I'm going to mines.
Screw them though. I'll do better this time around, I'm sure of it.

Still, for the time being, I feel utterly helpless and stupid.
It'll pass, it'll pass.

edit:
However. This screws up my health insurance, car insurance, and some other kind of thing that I can't remember at the moment.

Mom was giving me crap about it, but you know... I'll work harder next semester. I know I didn't work as hard as I could have, but seriously... I would have exploded if I hadn't gone out and had fun.
next semester will be better. I'll have my own room so I can be alone more (because people distract me) and the television won't be in there with me. Excellent.

Things will go better next year. Now all I have to worry about is getting a job nearby. I'd like one close to the school... I can't do a work study so... ugh. Work at safeway?

I didn't pass physics I.

/sigh.

I'm both excited and not excited to be out of here in two weeks. On one hand, I won't have classes anymore. On the other, many of my friends (whom I have now lived with for a year) will be back in their respective states. Yeah, there are phones, mailboxes, and internet- it's just not the same.

Also, I am quite determined to get Sean to like me (if he doesn't already?!). I have only two weeks to woo him and then he goes back to Texas.

/sigh

Texas though? Seriously. I'm almost hesitant because of the distance thing, but I'm not entirely sure he's coming back next year. He was talking about transferring to Texas A&M because of their lax chemistry prerequisites.

I suppose just try asking him out again and seeing where it goes from there? Dude, I'm just so sick of waiting for him to make a move. jdofksidjklkjsa;


Exactly.


The deal for today:

• Study calculus
• Eat dinner- preferably around six
• Take calculus test
• Study Physics

Things I am thankful for:

• Excellent timing of yesterday
• Having nearly $50 left on my blastercard
• Having fun
  
• Having the room to myself for a bit
• Michelle did dishes ?!

And Caley just told me that Eric moved into Chris' house. /sigh.
Hopefully he'll be gone when I visit them when I get out of school. hopehopehopehopehope
I wish chris answered his phone once in a while. I've tried calling him at least once a week for the past few weeks and then nothing. /moresigh

Today is just one of those days.

Not particularly happy, not particularly sad. Just there waiting for us to make the best of it.

Gym was kind of good. While I kept getting knocked out of play (due to me flailing whenever I tried to catch a ball) it was still pretty fun. I just can't throw those balls worth anything. At least if we were playing baseball I'd have a chance to actually throw somewhat decently.

As per usual, I hated Physics studio. This time, however, someone actually explained how to get the period one part of it right and I was very excited. I actually got the answer they had and it made me rather happy. However, when it came to the next question I was totally lost. I find that the studio and the lecture do not coincide very well and if you want to get what is happening in Studio, you probably should do your Lon Cappa homework ahead of time.
Physics kills me. It makes me so frustrated that I have to take it because I won't even use it in my major.

I want to FIND things, not build mines or anything. Or even use seismic stuff like the Geophysicists do. It's cool and all, but I don't understand it at all.

Earth lab was actually kind of boring. We're doing hydrology and I don't really like it. I WAS going to focus on that as my major when I came in, but I decided against it. It's just so...boring. Yes, downstream of a contaminate source there is going to be the greatest concentration, and yes, after a while it filters out. DEAL.

and while the idea of aquifers is really awesome, I don't care. It's been discovered. If you drill to an aquifer that is below a contaminated aquifer, you will contaminate that aquifer too. Right.

Got back from that, laid in the hallway for a while. Then we moved to my room and watched crime television, like we always tend to do. Once Cindy and Michelle left I started to try and work on Cappa, but it sucks and I suck and I can't seem to get anything right. Thus, I quit after half an hour.

They are having capture the flag tonight. I really want to go play- that starts at 8 they say. I'm going a bit early just in case.

Or maybe I shouldn't go and I should study my physics instead. I really don't know. Gah.

And there is this REALLY unattractive picture of this girl's backside on my facebook page and it bugs the HELL out of me. I had this discussion with Michelle about how if you really should be wearing a size nine and you wiggle yourself into a size three- you need to get the size nine. It's not attractive, even if you can say you fit in size three.

And now it's gone.

BAH.flkjsdfgkldjgksdhfgkjhadskg;h

That is how I feel. Just. Like. That.

So.

I hate physics. HATE. SEETHE. I'd like to think that I won't fail, but I will.
or get a sufficiently lower grade than I'd like.



Nothing else has gone on today. I made an excuse (though it was legitimate) to see Sean, and he was nice and helped me a bit with physics. Sad thing is, we got it wrong. Three other people tried plugging in my numbers and they all came out with different answers. This does not inspire much confidence for the upcoming test.
I'm really tempted to just quit for the night and just do the test review tomorrow. I'm just sick of physics right now. REALLY sick of physics.

I just looked at a picture of my face in profile and it looks very angular. It's like my face is made of up triangles. My cheek bones are VERY well defined. It looks rather awkward.


So. Plan for tomorrow:
Go to Chemistry.
Write up notecard for Calculus.
Go to Physics - pay a LOT of attention in this class today (it's review).
Study up on Calculus.
Go to Calculus and rock the quiz (it's five integration problems).
If I get out before Andrea, wait for her.
If Sean gets out at the same or almost same time take this opportunity to openly flirt with him.
Go to Earth- Enjoy this class immensely.
Before I forget, I should do my Golden Analysis essay. It should take roughly an hour to do (since I have all the answers in my labs and I know they are right).
Work on Physics review. Focus on simple harmonic motion and stuff like that- I know enough about torque to get by but I don't know enough about simple harmonic motion.

If I have any time left over I might be able to eat something or maybe even browse the internet a little.


Is it sad that Red Bull hasn't had much effect on me?

So after the failure of last friday I'm somewhat at a loss for confidence.

Last week I had decided to go ahead and ask Sean out to dinner or something like that. He has calculus with me, so I thought it'd be alright. Just catch up to him after class is out and go ahead and ask.

Unfortunately for me, he wasn't there! Just my luck, right?

In other news, it's supposed to snow/rain here today. I don't like this. It has been nice the past couple days, and then the clouds just HAVE to come in and ruin it. bah!
Took a short walk with andrea yesterday.
Apparently there was drama here over the weekend. One of the girls was caught with jello shots in her room. Now, they didn't search her room or anything, she just left them in the middle of the friggen floor. This one guy that doesn't go here admitted that they were his, so she didn't get kicked out- but she got written up.

but she didn't even try and hide them! policemen patrol the halls sometimes and she must have just kept the door open for them to see it because there is no way they would have been able to tell otherwise.

the lesson here: if you're going to drink underage, and on a dry campus, close your door.

Thank you.

Last night I found I didn't have to do Lon Capa for physics. This made me happy. Instead I watched The Princess Bride. Erin and Liz joined me around the middle of the movie. Michelle finally got back, and the movie was finished. Then we watched Robin Hood: Men in Tights. We gained Laurel and then Andrea and Lisa at one point.
We chatted it up until almost midnight- then went to bed.
Michelle was up talking with (at?!) me for a while. I kinda fell asleep in the middle of the conversation.

Surprisingly that is the best night sleep that have had in a while. Don't know why. I'm friggen tired right now, but I feel relaxed. So it's all good.


Ican'twaituntilcalculus. :D

I'm doing better this week with studying and doing assigned work. Any improvement is better than nothing, right?
Last week we had a Physics test and Chemistry test, this week there is an Earth test and a Calculus test. Earth I think I'll do okay on, since this is like the third year I've heard this stuff. Calculus is a different story. She just DOESN'T teach very well. If I went to class and participated I SHOULD be able to get at least a C, but it doesn't work that way in her class because she says that we should be learning on our own, she just reinforces it.
Dude, I freaking pay her so much money. She SHOULD be teaching me, not the book.

SIGH.

So after Earth I'll be studying for my calculus test tomorrow (aka doing the assigned homework the RIGHT way).

Cindy wants me to go to the movie hosted by the international...club. Three Weddings and a Funeral I think? Four weddings and a funeral it says. It says it's at seven, but I already said I'd help with Valentines at eight...

So I guess I can't go to the movie.

Definitely feeling better this week though.

Finished The Last Empress. It was a pretty good book, though I almost feel as if I should have reread Empress Orchid before it because the two are so intertwined.
Now I'm reading A Confederacy of Dunces, and the first chapter was pretty funny. It's about this thirty year old who still lives with his mother, but insists that he better than everyone else around. He's like an overgrown kid, and he's a germaphobe. Quite a character I say. He almost got arrested, and I still don't know why.

After this book I'll read...The Street of a Thousand Blossoms.
Indeed.


I don't know if I'm going to go work out tonight, because Michelle won't be here and I'm not sure Cindy will want to go if she's seeing that movie at seven. It's no fun if you go by yourself, let me tell you. I don't know what I'm going to do when we eventually leave each other because I won't want to go because it'll just be me. I guess I could meet new people?

Meeting new people is nerve-wreaking though. Or at least for me. It's always been like that. There was this one time in middle school when I went to Church Camp for a week. It was fun I guess. I was good friends with this one girl and we roomed together but then she met new people and just stopped talking to me altogether. So most of the time I just went to the craft table and kayaked by myself. At the end she was like "I was just trying to get you to make new friends."
Thanks, friend, thanks.

Whatever.

Anyway.
Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, but more importantly: Rob Thomas' Birthday. :D
I guess I should get ready for physics- unless I can convince Andrea to go to the next one...but Regina is there saving our seats so I guess I'll go. psh.

"There is a wonder in reading Braille that the sighted will never know: to touch words and have them touch you back."- Jim Fiebig