Making a Change:

Last week I changed my major. It wasn't a HUGE change from what it was- Geological Engineering with an emphasis on mineral and fuel exploration to Geological Engineering with an emphasis in engineering- but still had to go through and change my LIFE for it. Though, I feel somewhat a failure as I have yet to pass this darn physics class. Seriously, I know that it WILL come SOMEWHAT in handy later in life, but I really don't see that I have to go so much into depth with it... I'm not dealing with wires, I'm dealing with rock and dirt and climate. Plus, I want everything to be static in my situation so I really ought to have to focus more on the static aspect of physics rather than movement...though I guess knowing where a rock will fall in repect to a cliff would be a good idea.

Forgive me if I know not of what I speak- it's still only my second year (beginning of it at that) so if I'm completely wrong I'd love for someone to tell me so and explain why.

I love school, really I do. It gives me some sense of ...being? Identity? I belong somewhere. Like, in class there are people who are just as excited about the Earth and how it was formed as I am. Don't get me wrong: I don't ace the tests or anything. In fact, I got slaughtered by the last one.
I really just need to buckle down. It's hard though, when you're working two jobs, going to school full time, and your family wants to see you every weekend. Shouldn't be complaining, I suppose. They do pay for my gas most of the time... But still. It's just hard, and I realize too that there are people who have kids too on top of a job and full time student status and I am in awe of them. There is this woman in my geo class who has a full time job (teaching), a three year old, AND she's going to school full time. To me, she is super-woman. If she can do it, I can do it.


I think what's going to need to happen this next weekend (which happens to be fall break) is that I'm going to have to cut off caffeine. It is too addicting and today alone I will be consuming two energy drinks just to get me through the day.
My dad was going to take me to Dove Creek and we were going to pick up my cousin and her boy on the way, but now we can't because of the van (and now I told my boss that I can work that weekend because "my vacation died") and I'm pretty bummed.
Yes, I do want to travel a little bit. Yes, I like city life, but I want to live there. One day I will live in Dove Creek and it will be amazing. Just you see. I will have a ranch, I will have dogs, I will have an amazing life. Plus- I love pinto beans.

Speaking of Dove Creek, I will tell you one of the things I learned from dating Grant (farmer from Dove Creek- has the largest crop in the area): if you really want something, there will be a way you can get it if you try hard enough.

Well, I'm going to keep trying because I know what I want and I'll be damned if I don't get it.

I really haven't been taking care of myself these past few days.

It's why I'm staying home.
Besides the fact that Steven was telling lies to his parents about me and I'm about to punch him in the face.

quite literally.

He's trying to get his parents to not allow me over I suppose. Honestly, not a big deal for me seeing as I don't like being there when he's there anyway, but I like to hang out with Ben and Chris (and Jenn as of recently :O).

Idon'tknow. I want to talk to Eric, but he doesn't want to.

I think his reasons for breakup are either lies or childish.
there are the two that I've noted before, and the "real" one where I overreacted to a comment he made and he overreacted to the comment I made after that.
We'd done this before.
I don't see why it was such a big deal now.


Was talking to him through a mutual friend last night. He told this friend that what I said about steven was not true. I told this friend "how was I supposed to know when Steven's bragging about it and Eric's not talking to me"
I assume what the truth is when no one is talking to me about it.

We _could have_ worked this out.
heh, we even still could.
Mom says to not even talk to him, so does Sabrina.

I've lost weight after all this.
about seven pounds.
I mean, it's not a GOOD thing that I can't stomache any food, but I'm trying.
I do eat little things like pretzels and breadsticks.


I keep looking out the windows wishing he was there.
How lame is that?

well, good thing is I'm not crying anymore. I get sniffles occationally, but not the full blown crying.

Watched the Wedding Date last night. Fantastic movie. And Princess Bride too.
IloveThePrincessBride.


Um...calling Maz around her lunch hour. Seeing if she wants me to drop my labs off after school or ...whatever she wants to do. While I'm doing that I'm going to go see Ms. Malloy and give her my book project.
Ican'thandleschoolrightnowheeeeeeh

You know, I'm glad I took all this AP courses. It keeps my mind occupied.